


And You Let Her Go

by moonlightreigns



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Crying, Dean Being an Asshole, Dean Being an Idiot, F/M, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hypothermia, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Reader-Insert, Sad, Smut, cringy?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 08:59:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10693734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightreigns/pseuds/moonlightreigns
Summary: A: Could you prettt please a dean fic, where there friends with benefits and she tells him she has feelings for him and his a complete asshole saying he never will have feelings for her and ends the whole friends with benefits. The reader becomes with drawn and gets her and sam trapped in a freezer. She nearly dies from hyperthemera and dean feels bad but she leaves...Synopsis: Dean (Being the idiot he is), decides to end his friends with benefits with the reader, when she tells him she’s in love with him, leaving the reader heartbroken. Dean realizes his an idiot a little too late.Characters: Y/n, Dean, Sam, random chick, random guy, ghost.WARNINGS: Dean being an asshole, hypothermia, angst, probably more stuff, a lot of crying, sad (I guess). This isn’t really a warning but Dean being an idiot, smut, sex, sexual content, semi oral (male receiving), shower sex, unprotected sex (wrap it or regret it),melt downs , cheating (mentioned), ghost.Word Count:5355





	And You Let Her Go

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: This song fits this fic (I love this song), so much. I’m pretty sure its hypothermia. Because hypothermia is when your body drops to dangerous temperature while and hyperthermia is the one where your body goes to higher temperature. Also the freezer is one of those big freezers you get in motel/hotel kitchens.

****_Well you only need the light when it’s burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

You knew you shouldn’t have fallen in love with him. You’s were friends with benefits and that was it. Dean made it perfectly clear, that if one of you’s feel in love it was over. You didn’t want to it be over, so you forced your feelings aside.

But somewhere under all those nights you spent tangled together, your skin, pressing against his, the more your feelings grew, and you couldn’t ignore them. You were in love with him. He meant the world to you.

You were hoping that maybe he felt the same. That maybe somewhere deep down in his heart, he felt love for you…

  
****_Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low_  
Only hate the road when you’re missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go

You let out a sigh, as you lathered your hair with shampoo. Massaging it into your hair. Just as you were rinsing it.

You heard the front door to yours’s and Dean’s slam open and shut. Loud scuffling.

“I can’t believe Sam.” Dean grumbled, walking into the bathroom.

“Why, what did he do?” you asked, putting conditioner in your hair.

Dean took a moment to answer, as he looking at your naked, wet body. Dean’s eyes darken with lust

“Doesn’t matter.” He grumbled, walking closer. Taking off his shirt.

“It does, you’re so wound up over it.” you spoke, as rinsed the conditioner off. Unaware that Dean took his jeans and boxers off.

“Well, you being all naked is kind of making me forget being angry.” Dean growled, in your ear. Engulfing you in his arms. 

You let out a moan, as you felt his erection press against your women hood. You quickly turned around, wrapping your arms around his neck. Pressing your body flush against his. Your lips pressing against his hungrily.

“Not here, babe.” Dean groaned, pulling away from the kiss.

“Why? Your horny, I’m horny, let’s just do it in the shower.” You begged. Attaching your lips to his neck.

“Shower sex is complicated.” Dean muttered, trying not to moan.

“Dean, it’s not that complicated.” You laughed, casting your eyes down to his cock.

“It is, I mean, one of us could get injured.” Dean mumbled.

“I’m sure you will survive Dean.” You spoke, stroking his cock.

“Oh, fuck, Y/n, what if we just do it on the bed.” Dean moaned.

“Or…” you spoke, kneeling down, in front of Dean, and taking his cock in your hands.

“Oh fuck.” Dean groaned, as your tongue licked up his shaft. Then swirling the tip, your hand holding his shaft.

Dean’s fingers ran through your wet damp hair, as you continued to lick his tip.

He quickly gripped your hair, as your mouth covered his head. You started bobbing your head up and down, your hand gently moving up and down his shaft.

“Fuck.” Dean moaned, one of his let go of your hair, pressing against the glass screen.

Dean’s moan’s got louder, making you let out a moan. Dean’s fingers gripping your hair tighter.

You lowered your head down further, down until you reached his shaft. His head falling back, with his mouth a gaped. 

You let out a gag, pulling back, your tongue licking his head. You hallowed your cheeks, as you started to suck him again.

“Fuck, babe.” He moaned, his hand slipping from the glass.

Just as your eyes interlocked, he pulled your head away, picking you up, pressing your back against the shower wall.

“I need you.” He moaned, his lips ghosting over yours. His eyes darkening with lust.

You let out a moan, as Dean pushed himself inside you.

“You’re so tight.” Dean groaned, pressing his lips against your neck.

Dean started to thrust into you. Pinning you against the wall. He let go of you, putting his hands on either side of you, as he thrust into you.

You wrapped your legs around him, as he continued to thrust into you. His mouth pressing light kisses against your collarbone.

Dean’s continued to thrust into you at a slow rate. 

Something felt different about his thrust, they were slower and deeper than usual. Maybe he feels more than friendship, and this is his way of telling you. Maybe after you’s finish having sex you should tell him how you really feel you thought.

“Fuck, y/n.” Dean moaned, burrowing his head into your neck, dragging you out of your thought, when he hit you g-spot.

“Dean.” You moaned, digging your fingernails into his shoulder.

Dean hit it again, making you moan again. 

His hands gripped your hips again. Thrusting into you again, and hitting your g-spot.

“Oh my fuck.” you moaned, as your walls tightened around him. Dean rested his forehead against yours, as he continued to thrust into you again. Hitting your g-spot. 

“I know baby.” He groaned, as you tightened your legs around his waist.

“Fuck.” You moaned, as he continued to thrust into you. The hot water creating fiction, against yours and Dean’s bare skin.

Your moans got louder, as Dean thrust got faster. 

“Oh, baby.” Dean groaned, getting closer to his climax.

“Fuck, Dean.” You moaned, as your orgasm took over your body. Digging your heel into his back.

Dean groaned, as he felt a warm sensation surrounding his cock. Which pushed him to his climax.

Dean thrust into you with one finally thrust he cummed inside you.

****_Staring at the bottom of your glass  
Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last  
But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

Dean cupped your cheeks, bringing his lips closer to yours. He pressed his lips against yours gently then pulled away.

He slipped out of you, putting you down gently.

“That was-” He started to say, as you washed yourself off.

“Awesome.” You spoke, handing him the soap, as you washed yourself off. 

Dean let out a chuckle, as you got out of the shower, drying yourself off.

You quickly walked to your bag, pulling your pj’s out. You were going to tell him. How you feel about him.

****_You see her when you close your eyes  
Maybe one day you’ll understand why  
Everything you touch surely dies_

Dean walked into the room, smirking. A towel wrapped around his waist. Little water droplets, running down his bare chest. 

“Damn, I thought you were naked.” He mumbled, pouting. You let out a small laugh, fiddling with your fingers.

Your heart started to beat faster. Your hands getting clammy, your hands shaking.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, noticing your odd behaviour. He opened his duffle bag up. 

“Dean, I have to tell you something.” You muttered, feeling like your heart was stuck in your throat. 

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” Dean asked, his eyes widening in shock. Dropping his sweats, on the bed.

“No. I’m on the pill.” You answered, frowning when he let out a sigh of relief.

“Good, because having a baby in this world right now, with lucifers spawn about to pop. Isn’t a good idea.” Dean spoke, as he started to take his towel off.

“I love you.” You confessed, a glimmer of hope in your eyes.

“I love you to, you’re my best bud.” Dean spoke, not even looking at you.

“No, I mean, I love you, more than a friend.” You spoke. Your heart beating faster.

Dean stopped what he was doing, looking at you with an unreadable look.

****_But you only need the light when it’s burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

“What?” Dean gasped.

“I love you, Dean, so much, I, you mean so much to me. I think about you single every day and night. I want us to be more, than just friends with benefits. I get jealous every time you flirt with another girl, I want you to think of me and only me, I need you, Dean, I need you to love me, the way I love you. I don’t want to be with anyone but you.” You confessed, your eyes watering.

“You’re joking right?” Dean laughed, looking at you in disbelief.

‘No.” you whimpered. Tears falling from your eyes. Well, that went well.

“I don’t have feelings for you Y/n. You’re my best friend, and that’s it.” Dean spoke.

“But, you, your thrust, they were different from your last ones.” You muttered, wiping your tears away.

“Y/n, that was just sex. Plus I didn’t want one of us, to get injured in the shower.” Dean explained. 

You let out a sob. Feeling like your heart just got crushed.

“You didn’t actually believe, I had feelings for you?” Dean chuckled, making your cry.

“Oh, come on y/n. you seriously thought that. I love you, but only in a friend way.” Dean told you. Making you feel even worse.

“I, I can’t be in a room with you Dean.” You cried, grabbing your duffle bag, and walking to the door and opening it. You couldn’t breakdown in front of him. You wouldn’t.

“Right, well maybe, you should fall for my brother, I’m sure he would love to hear your heartfelt words, your replaceable y/n, were just a fling.” Dean bitterly spoke, glaring at you. You quickly stopped in your tracks, turning around. Glaring at him.

Dean’s glare dropped into a worried expression, then an unreadable one.

“You don’t have to be such an ass about it.” you sobbed, walking out of his room, and slamming the door.

****_Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low  
Only hate the road when you’re missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

You let out a sigh, a gust of wind blew past your, making you shiver. You lightly knocked on the door. The door quickly opened, revealing Sam.

“Y/n” Sam gasped out, fixing his hair.

“I, um, me and Dean, kind of had of fight, can I stay with you?” you asked, fiddling with your fingers, nervously.

“I heard, walls are paper thin. Come in.” Sam spoke softly.

Just as you walked, you heard a door slam closed. And the car door opening. Your eyes twitched, as you heard the familiar sound of the Impala engine, run.

“Prob Dean, going off to fuck some two dollar hoe.” You growled, as you heard the Impala go.

“Wanna beer?” Sam asked, walking over to the mini fridge, opening it up, and taking two beers out.

“Defiantly.” You answered. As Sam shut the fridge door. Walking over to you. He handed you a beer.

“So, have you figured out who killed the new owners?” You asked, sitting down on the uncomfortable chair.

“It’s a ghost.” Sam replied, sitting down, and typing away on his laptop.

“Sure she or He is probably pissed because some whore, is wrecking their home.” You grumbled, taking a sip of your beer.

“Y/n.” Sam warned, making you roll your eyes.

“Sorry.” You grumbled, chugging the rest of your beer.

“The ghost is a guy. He, died in his house. Found out his wife was cheating on him, his wife left him, and now whoever goes into his house they either die or get badly injured.” Sam spoke.

“At least he didn’t get rejected.” you grumbled, taking another beer.  
Sam let out a sigh. Rolling his eyes at your bitterness.  
“We find his corpse and we burn the corpse.” Sam spoke, looking up from his laptop, to see drinking your second beer.

“Easy, we should do it now.” You spoke, taking another sip of your beer.

“Y/n, your drinking alcohol, and besides the salt is in the Impala.” Sam sighed, worry clouding his eyes.

“Seriously? Beer is barely hard liquor.” You groaned, finishing of your second beer.

“Your judgment is cloudy.” Sam sighed, as you grabbed another beer can.

“Good, maybe I’ll die and Dean will be full of regret.” You growled, opening the beer can.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sam asked.

“No, I’m not, okay I just got rejected by your brother. So forgive me if I am being a little melodramatic.” You yelled.

“I never said you were, I’m sorry, for what my brother did to you. I told him that one of you would get hurt, and I guess that person, was you.” Sam spoke, as you sat down on the bed.

“No, you’re just sorry because you feel sorry.” You grumbled.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sam asked, getting up and sitting next to you.

“Sam, I got rejected, it’s not like me and him were in some relationship.” You grumbled, taking a sip of your third beer.

“I’m sure, Dean, feels more than friendship for you, and maybe his just doesn’t want you to get hurt. So his denying his feelings.” Sam spoke, his hand rubbing your back.

“Thanks, for trying to make me feel better. But your brother is a dickhead.” You grumbled, taking a huge gulp of the beer. A frown formed on Sam’s face, as you continued to drink the beer.

“Maybe, you should go to bed, you don’t want a hangover, while we’re hunting.” Sam spoke, making you roll your eyes.

“This is my third beer Sam.” You grumbled.

“You have a limit y/n.” Sam spoke, making you get up.

“Yeah, and this is not my limit. I’m going to the bar, maybe if I drink too much, I’ll forget this night ever happened.” You sighed.

“You’re going to a bar in sweats and a jumper?” Sam questioned.

“Your right, I’ll change.” You spoke, taking out a black dress, and a pair of black heels. Sam quickly turned around, when you started to change your clothes. Then putting the heels on.

“Alright, I’m off.” You announced, opening the door.

“Y/n, you can’t go to a bar. We have a case to do tomorrow.” Sam spoke, as he followed you out the door. You quickly turned around, getting annoyed with him.

“Oh my god, Sam, you sound like a mum.” You sighed, running your fingers through your hair.

“I’m coming with you.” Sam announced, making you roll your eyes.

“Oh, goodie, dull my spark.” You grumbled.

Just as Sam was about to say something, the sound of an engine stopped, besideS you and Sam.

You and Sam turned your head’s heads, to see dean and some hoe, walk out of the impala. Both of them only having eyes on each other. The girl quickly pressed her lips to Dean, as he opened the door.

  
_“What an asshole.”_   _You thought_. Glaring even harder. You quickly turned around, alerting Sam.  
“Y/n, wait” Sam sighed, as you stormed off. Sam glared at Dean’s hotel door, then walked back to his hotel room…

****_Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
Same old empty feeling in your heart  
Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast_

Sam leaned against the Impala, sipping on some sort of juice he made. Getting more anxious about you. You didn’t come back last night. You didn’t even answer his calls or text.

He quickly took out his phone, creating a new text message.  
**_Hey hope you’re alright? Are you still alive? Please text back, do you want me to come get you?_**  Sam put your contact in, pressing send.

Sam looked up when he heard the door opening, revealing the girl Dean slept with last night and Dean himself.

The girl awkwardly walked away, as Sam glared at Dean.

“Ready to go? Where’s y/n?” Dean asked, noticing you weren’t standing by Sam.

“Ugh, I don’t know.” Sam spoke, looking at his phone.

“I thought she was staying in your room?” Dean asked.

“She was, then she saw you and that girl kissing, so she took off. Probably to the bar. She hasn’t come back since.” Sam spoke, getting even more worried for you.

“Oh, it’s good she’s moving on.” Dean spoke, kind of feeling down.

“Dean, you hurt her, badly.” Sam growled, clutching his phone tight.

“She’ll get over it.” Dean grumbled, leaning against the hood of the Impala.

“No, she won’t Dean.” Sam shouted, making Dean roll his eyes.

“She’s y/n, she’s been through worse.” Dean grumbled. Making Sam give him a bitch face.

“Your unbelievable Dean, I thought that maybe somewhere deep down in your heart you’d feel some sort of love for her other than friendship. But last night, you proved me wrong, Dean.” Sam snapped, fury in his eyes. How could Dean be such a dick about this?

“If you’re so worried about her feelings, why don’t you just ask her out.” Dean snapped, getting annoyed with Sam. Who cares, she’ll get over it. Dean thought to himself.

“She’s my best friend, Dean.” Sam growled. 

“She was my best friend first.” Dean argued, making Sam get even madder.

“If you truly valued you’re so-called friendship with her. You’d think about having sex with that cheap whore, which hurt her.” Sam yelled.

“She’s not a whore.” Dean shouted.

“You don’t get it. Do you Dean.” Sam shouted.

“Get what?” Dean asked, clearly lost on what Sam was trying to say.

Just as Sam was about to say something, a car pulled to a stop, in the hotel parking lot.

Both of them turned around to look, at the car.

Dean’s eyes widen as he saw you step out, waving at some guy. Dean felt his heart tightening in his chest.

You quickly turned around, smiling widely at Sam and Dean.

“Morning, ready to kick some ghost ass?” you asked, stopping in front of them. Dean’s eyes wandered down to your chest.

“Where were you?” Sam asked.

“Jezz, mom relax, I’m going to get dressed.” You responded, walking into Sam’s room, to go get changed.

Sam gave Dean a look as Dean checked out your ass.

“You’re unbelievable.” Sam grumbled, hopping into the Impala.

You quickly exited Sam’s room, walking closer, your heart beating faster.

“Let’s go.” You cheerily spoked, as you and Dean hopped into the Impala…

****_Well you see her when you fall asleep  
But never to touch and never to keep  
Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep_

Your heart hammered in your chest, as you walked down into the steps that lead to the basement. Of course, you got the basement. Sam said he would check on you after a few minutes. Since Dean was off checking the cemetery. At least you didn’t have to see him.

Your breathing shallowed as, you shined your torch around the dark room.

“It’s okay, you’re okay, you can do this.” You reassured yourself, as you walked into the room.

Your light flickered making Goosebumps arise. You quickly fixed it exploring the basement. Unaware that something was watching you…

“Sam, the body’s not here.” Dean spoke, through the phone, as he walked back to the Impala. 

“What do you mean, it’s not there. His registered under there?” Sam asked, as he out a frustrated sigh.

“Well there’s a grave, but it’s an empty casket, it’s like nothing was in it. No scratch marks, nothing.”

You stopped in front of a large metal door, the sound of a motor running. Curiosity got the better off you. You slide it open, shining your torch in.

“Oh my god.” You gasped out, trying not to vomit.at the sight or a decaying body. Which you assumed was the ghost. You quickly turned around, only to be met by the ghost. You let out a loud scream, dropping your flashlight on the ground.

“You’re trespassing, I’m going to teach you a lesson.” He growled, slamming your head hard into the metal door, knocking you out. He quickly moved you in the freezer closing the door.

“Y/n” Sam shouted.

“What, what’s wrong with y/n?” Dean asked, quickly getting into the Impala. He couldn’t lose you.

“I have to go, get here fast.” Sam spoke, ending the call.

Sam quickly ran into the basement. His gun in front of him. He stopped. 

“Hey.” Sam yelled, as he saw the ghost near a metal door. Aiming the gun at the ghost. Before he could fire the gun, the ghost moved it away and pinned Sam against the wall.

Sam let out a grunt. The ghost quickly opened the metal door, making Sam move across the room and into the freezer. Falling hard onto the ground…

 **** _Well you only need the light when it’s burning low_  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low  
Only hate the road when you’re missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go  
Ohhh, oh no  
And you let her go  
Ohhh, oh no  
Well you let her go

Sam’s eyes snapped opened, lifting himself off the cold surface.

He couldn’t believe he was stuck in a freezer. He only hoped you and Dean were alright. He had to get out of here.

He quickly walked to the door, just as he was about to try and open it he heard a familiar voice.

“I already tried that. Useless.” You spoke, making Sam turn around towards you. His eyes widen, as a sad frown set across his face.

“Y/n.” Sam softly spoke. Concern clouding his eyes, as he saw a gash on your head.

“Least, I’m not stuck here with your brother. That would be torture.” You joked, making Sam role his eyes.

“You’re bleeding.” Sam sighed, changing the subject.

“No shit.” You grumbled, resting your head back, onto the wall.

Sam quickly walked towards you, crouching down in front of you. He noticed you shivering. 

“Here, take my coat.” Sam spoke, taking his coat off, and wrapping it around you.

“I’m fine, the main concern is getting out of here. Unless you want to die in here together. Because endgame.” You choked out, coughing as soon as you finished your sentence.

“We’re going to get out of this. Okay.” Sam reassured you. Looking at you with hope in his eyes.

“And if we don’t?” you coughed out. Warming yourself up. But failing.

“We will.” Sam sighed, his face dropped into a frown, as he saw you looking at him, with teary eyes. Your lip quivering.

“Y/n?” Sam asked, putting his hand on your shoulder.

“Why doesn’t you love me? Like I love you.” You gasped out, shivering. Thinking Sam was Dean.

“Y/n, it’s me, Sam.” Sam gulped, quickly pulling you onto his body, and holding you close to his chest, trying to get you warm.

“Am I that unlovable?” you sobbed, as you clung to what you thought was Dean.  
Sam eyes wandered around, until they stopped on decaying body.

“Y/n.” Sam whispered, cupping your cheeks, and looking into your dull eyes.

“He doesn’t love me.” You whimpered.

“Did your gun get taken off of you?” Sam asked.

“No.” you dragged out the words. Shivering.

“I’m going to take your bullets out, okay.” Sam mumbled.

“Are you going to leave me again Dean?” you cried, making Sam shush you, he quickly looked at the body then at you.

“Y/n, it’s me Sam, your best friend.” Sam spoke quietly, rubbing his thumb, up and down on your cold cheek.

“Sam?” you questioned, confusion clouding your eyes.

“Yeah. It’s me. Where going to get out of here okay?” Sam reassured you. Taking your gun out of your jean pocket.

“W-we-e are? I’m so cold.” You stuttered. As he took out four casings bullets. Taking out your pocket knife. Undoing the silver casings, and pouring the salt into one of his hands. 

He quickly took you off of him. Taking your lighter. 

“I know, I’m going to get us out of here.

“You’re leaving me?” you cried out.

“No, not for long, stay here.” Sam spoke, making you nod. You felt so numb.

Sam quickly threw the salt on the body, then flicking the lighter on. He dropped it on the body.

“Y/n?” Sam questioned, as he walked over to you. Seeing you unresponsive. He quickly picked you up walking over to the door.

He turned, the handle, making it finally pull open.

“Sam.” Dean spoke, as Sam handed you over to Dean. Sam took the box of salt off of Dean and a lighter. 

“Dean take her, and get out of here.” Sam demanded.

“What about you?” Dean asked, as he held you in his arms.

“I have to take care of this body.” Sam grumbled.

“Sam?” Dean whined.

“Just take her outside Dean, and keep her warm. Talk to her.” Sam snapped, walking into the freezer again. To take care of the body.

Dean made a beeline out of the basement and out of the house.

“Y/n?” Dean asked, as he laid you down, on the backseat, of the Impala. 

“Shit.” Dean cursed, as he checked your pulse. Which was weak. He started to worry.

“Y/n, wake up.” Dean demanded. He got no response. Dean quickly took off his coat. Wrapping it around you.

Just as he was about to start compressions, you woke up.

“Hey.” Dean spoke, stroking your cheek.

“I’m so cold.” You whimpered.

“I know, here.” Dean spoke, bringing you onto his lap, and holding you close to him.

“Why dean? Why don’t you love me? Why can’t we be more than friends?” you asked, as Dean kissed the top of your head.

“It’s complicated.” Dean spoke.

“Dean, is she alright?” Sam asked, interrupting the moment. Dean gave Sam a glare.

“Yeah.” Dean answered, holding you tighter.

“We should get going.” Sam sighed.

“Yeah.” Dean sighed.

“I’ll drive.” Sam spoke, holding out his hand, for the keys.

“Be careful.” Dean warned, making Sam roll his eyes.

“Dean.” Sam sighed.

“I’m serious, Sammy.” Dean warned.

“Okay.” Sam sighed, hopping into the driver’s side. Putting the key in the iginition.Turning the key.

“We’re going back to the motel, we can talk probably okay.” Dean said, kissing your forehead, as you looked at him with an unreadable expression.

Making Sam raise his eyes brows, turning onto the road, and driving off…..

****_Cause you only need the light when it’s burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

“Are you sure about this?” Sam asked, as you slang your bag over your shoulder.

“Positive. I have to do this for myself. This hunting life isn’t for me, and I’m not saying this because I nearly died, or Dean doesn’t feel the same way for me. But when, I don’t want to waste my life away doing this. I need the apple pie life, I need stability, I need someone who is going to be my one and only, I need a fresh start, put all this behind me.” You explained.

“Dean’s not going to be happy about this.” Sam sighed, making you smile.

“What Am, I no going to be happy about?” Dean asked, handing Sam a coffee, and you one. 

“I’ll wait outside.” Sam mumbled, walking out the door.

“What is he talking about? And why is your bag on your shoulder?” Dean asked.

“Dean, I’m retiring from hunting.” You spoke.

“Seriously? Just because you nearly died, you’ve had near death experiences before this.” Dean shouted. Making you wince.

“That’s not the only reason, I-” you started to say, only for Dean to interrupt you.

“Because I rejected you. Because I regret it now. I was scared, hell, I’m still scared, but, I can’t love anyone like I love you. And I know I was a douche, but I’ll try, y/n. I love you, more than a friend.” Dean confessed.

You let a defeated sigh. Maybe if he said that to you before your near-death experience you would have believed him. Give him a chance. But now you didn’t feel anything for him.

“Dean, shut up. Okay, we won’t work. Maybe, if you said it, before, I nearly died, I would be putty in your hands. But Dean, I don’t love you anymore. My mindset has changed. When my life flashed through my eyes, I, it was disappointing, and maybe we could have worked, but Dean, you’re not made for the apple pie life, and I want that Dean. I want that white picket fence, I want a house of my own, a suv, and loving devoted husband and kids, a family.” You confessed, as tears slipped from Dean’s eyes.

“I can be that, we can do that.” Dean cried.

“No, you can’t Dean. You want to, but you won’t, and maybe Sam will have that life one day. But you will always choose your brother or hunting over it, and that’s okay, because I get it Dean, you’re a hero to this world, you save people, it’s who you are, you were born to do it. But me, I can’t, I want to live a normal life.” You spoke, calmly.

“Y/n.” Dean spoke, taking your hand in his, only for you to pull it away.

“I will always love you, Dean, but it’s not enough, it won’t be enough. Because you don’t love me like I love you. You can try Dean, but it won’t be enough.” You sighed, kissing his cheek gently.

“But I do.” Dean trembled. As you walked past him.

“Take care Dean.” You sighed, walking out of the room, and closing the door.

“You okay?” Sam asked, as you two started to walk to the bus stop.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You laughed. 

“You know I think it’s a bit soon for you to run off.” Sam spoke.

“I’m fine Sam.” You sighed.

“You could die on the bus.” Sam spoke, making you let out a small laugh.

“Sam, I need to have a fresh start, forget hunting and have an apple pie life, get married, have a kid, I need to put this hunting life behind me.” You explained.

“Be careful, text me, every day.” Sam ordered.

“You sound like a clingy girlfriend.” You chuckled, making Sam let out a chuckle. Both of you stopped at the bus stop.

“Fine, I’ll text you once a day. Happy?” you laughed.Sam gave a small smile. Feeling sad again. 

“Sam, please don’t fuss over me, this is what I want.” You sighed.

Sam let a sigh, as the bus comes to a stop. People getting of the benches, and onto the bus, some putting their baggage in the storage compartment.

“I’m going to miss you.” Sam sighed, looking at you with sad eyes.

“Dido. Thank you, for being a great best friend, Sam.” You beamed.

“You’ll always be my best friend, Y/n.” Sam spoke, wrapping his arms around you, and giving you a long hug.

“Take care of him, Sam, and yourself.” You spoke, giving him one last hug before you got on the bus. Sam smiled sadly, as you waved at him. He waved back, as the bus drove, off…..

 **** _Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low_  
Only hate the road when you’re missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
Cause you only need the light when it’s burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go

“Dean..?” Sam spoke, walking into his room to see it was trashed.

Sam’s eyes widen, as he saw Dean, sitting in the middle of the room. With cuts and bruises on his face. Tear streaks staining his cheeks.

“I stuffed up Sam, I let her go.” Dean whimpered, looking up at his brother, his eyes red from crying. A fresh new set of tears making their way out of his eyes. His lips quivering…

 **** _Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low_  
Only hate the road when you’re missing home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I think I stuffed this up………………. I’m going to write a Sam x Stefan x reader angst. Hmu if you’re interested in it...


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